...and you're just so damn HUMBLE, too!!!


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Posted by Bob 'Skippy' Blechinger on December 08, 2000 at 08:04:17:

In Reply to: mirror image attitude posted by Renaldo Roundwound Tosconi on December 07, 2000 at 15:02:49:


: As I was standing naked in front of my full-length mirror this morning nailing arpeggios with frightening speed and uncanny accuracy (fingerstyle, of course), a thought came into my superior mind: I'm one bad sonofabitch on the electric bass. No shit, I simply smoke. I'm a fucking GOD.

Renaldo,
Yeah, yeah, we are not worthy...

: My incredible technique, my perfect pitch, my warm tone. Perfection to the letter. Hell, I even LOOK great, with my long thick blonde hair flowing so sexy down my tanned back, my gorgeous sea-blue eyes, and my hot lean and mean body. (Keep your wives, girlfriends, and daughters away from me. I can make women cream their panties with my sexy knockout smile.) I'm also hung like an elephant and have huge hands that frighten everyone at first glance.

Girlfriends? Damn, you're just *sooo* perfect, I'm sure you'll have to fight *us* off!

: So go on, keep practicing till your fingertips bleed and your hands are numb. You will NEVER reach the same level that I am on. You cannot. You will not. It's beyond your comprehension. Hell, if you were exposed to my incredible playing for even TEN seconds, you'd be destroyed, totally devastated. You'd crawl away with your little bass between your pathetic little tails.

Yes, we're just little girly bassists...

: Give my regards to Mel Bay.
: "Roundwound" Tosconi...no, make that MISTER Tosconi to you pipsqueaks.

NOTE: This guy is actually about 300 pounds, face like a pepperoni pizza, hair so greasy that people run over him to lube their cars, and he smells like bacon fat. The *only* reason he doesn't get his face slapped by every woman he encounters is that they refuse to get close enough.

As far as his bass playing ability goes, he can kinda sorta play Jack Bruce's riff from "Sunshine Of Your Love", but he twists his body into such unnatural positions when he tries to "rock out", he's keeping 5 different chiropractors busy full-time.

Trust me; I've dealt with people like this... ;-)

-Bob



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